Heina Dadabhoy spent their childhood as a practicing Muslim who never in their right mind would have believed that they would grow up to be an atheist feminist secular humanist.
They are currently writing A Skeptic's Guide to Islam.
To get this out of the way: Karim is not a “Muslim name.” It is an Arabic name that Muslims name their children, since Karim is one of the 99 names of Allah, but the word and name predate Islam.
As for her reason to not date this Karim, obviously, since most Muslims don’t behead people or beat their wives, not wanting to associate with people like that is a bad reason to not want to date a Muslim.
There are some good reasons why this woman might want to walk away, though, that aren’t based on less-warranted stereotypes, reasons that have to do with the realities of the ways in which sexism, misogyny, sex-negativity, patriarchy, and purity culture manifest themselves Muslim-dominated cultures.
In short, mid-life crises come early and hit harder for non-practicing Muslim men.
I have seen this play out so many times in my own family and community that it no longer surprises me.There are men who spend their youth in Western countries like England, Canada, or the US and abuse the sexism of their family’s double-standards and low expectations for men to its fullest.Since, generally speaking, male children are not as carefully guarded and watched over as female ones, young Muslim men have the opportunity to far more easily date, have sex, and get involved with non-Muslim women than young Muslim women do.Some of the men will go out partying, drinking, clubbing — you name the thing, they do it (except for maybe eating pork).However, since these men still identify as Muslims, the dissonance eventually catches up with them.Add increasing pressure from families to wed the “right” sort of person (i.e.