He doesn’t send flowers, he doesn’t buy chocolates. But they can occasionally err a bit on the soft side.He doesn’t take you in his arms and kiss you until you’re breathless. For example, a few weeks ago, we had a big storm in Denmark, and it knocked down some large trees.
The small, slender young woman was sawing away at this big tree with an old-fashioned manual saw, while her boyfriend was just standing there, smiling, with his hands in his pockets. Maybe he had a back injury – he was about 25, so maybe had a very youthful back injury.
Maybe he was a professional hand model and couldn’t risk his fingernails on a messy metal saw.
Or maybe he was a big wimp who was willing to let his girlfriend saw a giant tree stump while he stood there, acting like a giant tree stump.
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It was the latest in long-running series called Father of Four. As the kids grow up, they just replace them with new actors. The oldest sister, who’s about 20, meets a handsome young man with a guitar.
What struck me watching the movie was that the male romantic lead was visibly shorter than the female lead. I’ve asked my Danish male friends, and they say they’re reacting to Danish women.
I’d say at least a couple of centimeters shorter, maybe an inch. Danish women, they say, like to do things for themselves. I mean, I come from a culture where men whistle at beautiful women they don’t know walking down the street.
Now, in Hollywood, they’d have that guy standing on a box, to look taller, or have the actress standing in a hole, to look shorter. This means a lot if you’re a foreign woman dating a Danish man. They don’t want some clown opening the door for them, or helping them carry packages. I get a lot of mail from non-Danish women trying to figure out if the Danish man they’re dating is interested in them. When I first moved to Denmark, I thought I’d stopped hearing whistles because I’d aged out of the whistle target group.
In the Danish film, there was no attempt to hide it. I had to admit, I couldn’t focus on the love scene. In Hollywood – or Bollywood – movies, the male actor is taller because he’s supposed to be in charge, the dominant figure. He is a not a Frenchman who will pursue you to the ends of the earth. My Danish male friends say that after offering to be chivalrous a couple of times and getting turned down in a nasty manner, they don’t want to do that any more. But I’ve since established that beautiful young women don’t get whistled at either. Now, I’m a modern woman, and I like a lot of things about these modern men.