I’d shake and stutter and make myself as small as possible.
I’d fill my words with ‘I’m sorry’s’, having nothing in particular to apologize for.
I hope they help you see that you deserve to stand strongly amongst even your greatest idols, “superiors”, and authority figures.
Even your biggest idol, or the head of the company you answer to, or whoever it is that makes your knees shake, is still just a person.
They have family issues, daddy issues, mother issues, insecurities, things they’re trying to prove, obstacles they’re trying to overcome, fears they’re dealing with, people they’re hoping to impress, bills they have to pay, and feelings they’re trying to protect.
And they all poop in the morning, floss their teeth at night, cry when they’re alone, and do whatever else it is that makes us completely and utterly human.
I had quite a few people that I idolized, that I was so intimidated to meet, and then upon meeting and interacting with them shockingly found that not only were some of them not the people I thought they were, they were sometimes even ego driven, rude and judgmental of those around them (including a famed celebrity whose name I won’t mention! It’s all love, we all have our own demons to battle but after enough of these experiences I started to question the values I so quickly assigned to those who intimidated me. But power doesn’t always come with tact or with the gentleness we should all strive to treat one another with.
Power is just as likely to accompany a fragile ego as is insecurity.
And power fueling a fragile ego can be a particularly troublesome combination.people are those who impact me deeply, spiritually, lovingly, regardless of what their resumes are stacked with.
Powerful people are the people I welcome into my life, who welcome me back, who fill me with positivity, and who teach me how to grow.
This is not to say that some of the people I idolized or admired didn’t turn out to be some of the most loving, generous and kind people I know. But again, I see them now for the love they share with the world, not for merely their title or “power”.
I used to think I was egoless, because I felt insecure, so where’s the ego there? Ego is just as involved in insecurity as it is in arrogance.
You’re worried about how the world is perceiving you.